In this lesson, I'm going to tell you about the value of getting your heart broken. At first this may seem very unrelated to learning guitar, but in all truth it has everything to do with learning how to play the guitar. I was 20-years old and trying to find a direction for my life as I attended a small community college near my home in Florida. I learned from an early age to take rejection well, more out of necessity than anything else. throughout my early school career, I was never really accepted by the other kids. I couldn't see well enough to play sports, I wasn't a good runner, and I just didn't relate well to people in general. They always made me feel like I had something to prove, because i was different. And my handling of women wasn't any exception to the rule there. Other than a couple close encounters in high school, my dating life was simply pretty non-existent. I had hoped that moving on to college would change all that, but I still found myself feeling alone in a sea of people. Sure, I had friends, guys I would hang out with from time to time, but no serious romantic interests. I found myself spending a lot of time fiddling with my guitar, instead of persuing love interests that I felt would always be beyond my reach. And though I was getting better on the guitar, something critical was missing from my playing altogether.

Now, the great thing about going to college is that you actually have to get there and back home again. And public transportation can be loads of fun, when you are visually impaired, as most of my readers probably already know. It was common for me to sit for an hour or two waiting for a ride home. It was also common for the local public transportation services in my area to call the college in an attempt to get a hold of someone to let me know that they would be late. And that is how I first met Tina. I was sitting near a doorway with my guide dog tiger at the time. Tina had walked down from the upper level, where the faculty offices were, to try to find me to let me know that my ride was going to be late. I didn't think anything of our first encounter, because it was fairly brief and too the point. Then, some days later in early October of 1993, I saw her again briefly on another instance while stopping by my English professor's office. Something in side me at that moment just clicked. It was a subtle feeling of Deja voo. From that point onward, I would notice her in passing. You know the feeling, when a person is there one moment and gone the next? The sense of mystery surrounding this woman only drove me to want to get to know her more. I knew that if I didn't do anything to get this woman to notice me that i would regret it for the rest of my life. So, I did what any awe struck member of the male species would do, I started working on a plan to get Tina's attention. Since I knew a few of the faculty members on campass, I asked around to find out if she was seeing anyone at the time, married, and that sort of thing. Then one day I got the bright idea to send her flowers. Which being visually impaired, I had to figure out what her office number was to make sure that the flowers got delivered to the right place. Fortunately, the number was embossed on a plaque above the door, so I had to stand on my tippy toes to read it with my fingers. To make a long story short, I sent the flowers and one thing lead to another from there. And after a couple of months, everything started to fall apart. And let me tell you, when your relationship with a woman starts falling apart, you can not buy back what you have lost with gifts and tricks. It's amazing how feelings of desperation set in when you are about to lose someone you care about. And what is more amazing is how deeply it cuts when you actually lose that person and reality starts to set in. But, despite the months of pain that I couldn't shake after it all happened, I look back now and see that it was that emotional roller coaster and the resultant pain that made me both a better person and a better musician because of it.

When you have an experience like this, where the emotional tension is the most intense, one of the best outlets for that emotional tension is to express it through your music. I have found that even though it sucks to go through such pain and termoil, it is actually a blessing in the sense that it puts you in a position to learn how to express yourself with your music. Something a lot of folks lack in their playing because they are overly focused on the technical aspects of playing. But, the musicians we tend to remember the most are those who take us on an emotional ride with their music and help us to associate certain feelings with various musical phrases. So, getting your heart broken or experiencing emotional highs and lows in life can be a very useful tool to helping you improve as an artist. Because, music is expression. So, when you play guitar, whether you are running scales or just listening to what is being played by another artist on the radio, try to take the time to relate emotionally to what is happening with the sounds you are hearing. Are they happy, sad, suspensful, or do they have awkward tension that isn't immediately resolved? Such aspects of music, when you learn to hear these things and become aware of them, help you as a musician to find your voice when writing your own music.


Corey J. Bray